no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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