why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
