My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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