I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
