Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
