Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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