I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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