"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
