I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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