now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
