Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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