boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
