Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
one two three fourrrrnication!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
