Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
