she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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