dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
