He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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