do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
