return my video game
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
