They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
