he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
