well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize