I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
