It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
