Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
