And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize