is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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