So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
