i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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