Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
