my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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