I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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