My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
