Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you had me at cake vodka
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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