This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
