I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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