Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
