we have pet lesbian snakes
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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