Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
