so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
