A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
