Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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