i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
