Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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