u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
