You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
