So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We have started to decorate penises.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
