I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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