I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And then my night got REAL pukey
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
