There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
