I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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