I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
