Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
