Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
