Well douche your snatch and let's go!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
areolas are like halos for boobs.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
