Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize