just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
is wine microwaveable?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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