I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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