Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
