I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize