Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
