OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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